Many people said that all my dreams were over, I'd never be able to do all the things I wanted to do.
In my heart I wanted to prove them wrong, and part of my heart, felt sad, that maybe they were right.
And while other "kids" my age were out partying, I was home, taking care of my lil baby, who I adored. Many things in my life at that time were not good, I was in a bad relationship (i had gotten married when I was 17, and it wasn't because I was pregnant, it was because I was too young to get married...ha ha ha)...
When Jordan was 2, I went to beauty school...my mom watched Jordan for me. I thought I wanted to be a hair dresser, a platform artist like the ones that worked for Paul Mitchel. I realized in beauty school, that I really loved make-up! I went to a hairshow right before I graduated, met a make-up artist, that asked if I wanted to work on a movie...and what was so inspiring was that he was a single dad, that had full custody of his daughter. He raised her on set, in fact the movie that I worked on with him...she was there on the set, everyday!
I was encouraged! When I lived in LA, Jordan went to some photo shoots with me, that friends I was working with had approved of him being there. He always charmed people with his artistic skills and wit.
Just when I thought that my dreams were slipping away from me even more, little did I know, that all the steps that I thought were going backwards.....God was actually pulling me back, just like a "catapult" or slingshot....(they have to go backwards....but then they launch whatever they're holding...so far ahead of anything else!)....to put me in a place that even I didn't know I could dream of.
I could touch people's hearts, encourage their dreams, and give hope to precious hearts that feel like all hope is gone. I can be a friend, someone, maybe one voice that can keep your dreams alive.
If you are a mama, and feel like you can't accomplish your goals....first, being a mom is the most amazing, honorable thing you'll ever do. It doesn't matter what people say about you or tell you, I've heard some of the most ridiculous things that people have said to me or about me...but the one thing is, God knows the truth, he knows what he has waiting for each one of us!
What people didn't know about that little baby, is that he wasn't the reason why I couldn't make any of my dreams come true, but that he would be the very reason that all my dreams would come true! If I had never had to make all the choices and sacrifices for my Jordan, I never would have been in the "real" place to start all my true dreams!
No matter what your life looks like, no matter what people tell you or say about you, what God has planned for you...and what he says, if far for important than anything, circumstance, or person that says anything otherwise!
typed with love to all my precious kandee family....xoxo kandee
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